Envelope Addressing Etiquette

Using correct etiquette when addressing your wedding invitations is an excellent way to elevate your event and make your guests feel really special.

Below are some common etiquette questions I am often asked as couples are preparing their guest lists. For more tips on your wedding stationery etiquette, I recommend checking out “Crane’s Wedding Blue Book”. It is the gold standard for envelope addressing etiquette and much more related to your wedding.

*Please note that both outer and inner envelopes are traditionally used for wedding invitations. The tips below assume the use of an inner envelope. However, if you choose not to include an inner envelope, the same principles can be applied to the outer envelope.

~No abbreviations are used.  Mr. and Mrs. are the exception.  Street, Apartment, Post Office Box, etc. are always written out.

~Numerals are usually used for the street number, although it is appropriate to write out numbers one through twenty (ex. Twelve Main Street instead of 12 Main Street). Numerals are always used for zip codes.

~If “junior” is part of a man’s name, you would include it (or “Jr.”) on the outside envelope. It is not necessary to repeat it on the inside envelope unless both “junior” and “senior” are living at the same address. The same goes for “senior”.

~If you are inviting children to your wedding it is not appropriate to use “and family” on the outside envelope. Wedding invitations are sent to the adult members of the household. Envelopes should be addressed to the parents who receive the invitations on behalf of their children. The children’s names (not “and family”) are written on the inside envelope on a line beneath the names of their parents.

~When addressing an envelope to a man and woman who are living together but not married, the woman’s name goes first.

~If you would like to invite your friend’s dates to the wedding, it is ideal to call your friends, get the names of their dates, and send them each an invitation. A less formal way is to address the inner envelopes with “and guest” (ex. Mr. Smith and guest). Guest is not capitalized.

~When addressing envelopes to two or more siblings under the age of eighteen who are living at home, the name of the oldest child is listed first followed by the names of his or her siblings in chronological order by age.

~Guests over the age of eighteen should receive separate invitations even if living in the same household.

Please see the table below for common etiquette examples:

  OUTER ENVELOPE INNER ENVELOPE
MARRIED COUPLE Mr. and Mrs. John Smith Mr. and Mrs. Smith
WITH CHILDREN UNDER EIGHTEEN LIVING AT HOME Mr. and Mrs. John Smith Mr. and Mrs. Smith
William and Kate
WOMAN KEPT MAIDEN NAME Ms. Karen Clayton
and Mr. John Smith		 Ms. Clayton
and Mr. Smith
MAN IS A DOCTOR Doctor and Mrs. John Smith Doctor and Mrs. Smith
WOMAN IS A DOCTOR Doctor Karen Smith
and Mr. John Smith		 Doctor Smith
and Mr. Smith
BOTH ARE DOCTORS The Doctors Clayton The Doctors Clayton
MAN IS A JUDGE The Honorable and Mrs. John Smith Judge and Mrs. Smith
WOMAN IS A JUDGE The Honorable Kate Smith
and Mr. John Smith		 Judge Smith
and Mr. Smith
UNMARRIED, LIVING TOGETHER Miss (or Ms.) Kate Clayton
Mr. John Smith		 Miss (or Ms.) Clayton
Mr. Smith
WIDOW Mrs. John Smith Mrs. Smith
SINGLE, WITH DATE

Miss (or Ms.) Kate Smith

Mr. John Smith

Miss (or Ms.) Smith and guest

Mr. John Smith and guest
MILITARY OFFICER, MARRIED Colonel and Mrs. John Smith Colonel and Mrs. Smith
MILITARY OFFICE, SINGLE Captain Kate Smith, U.S. Army Captain Smith

Make sure to see my previous blog post here for tips on the best format for submitting your guest list to your calligrapher as well as a free envelope addressing spreadsheet template.